I’m on to you man. Quick bit of history real quick. Emporia Kansas America, the town where I’ve lived for most of my life, is home to The Clint Bowyer of NASCAR fame.
Since he’s from here and we’re the same age, that means that I’ve known the guy since about the 4th grade. Some people have said he’s an asshole, but after thinking about it, he’s 1/20th of the asshole I would be if I were a millionaire race-car driver. And his The Clint Bowyer fund has donated a very large (like say, millions) amount of money for the community, which is awesome.
That being said, I want everyone to know what The Clint Bowyer has done. He devised a maniacal plot and sucked the ability to drive worth a shit out of almost everyone in Emporia and somehow kept it for himself. I can just imagine him standing on a pedestal in the The Clint Bowyer Building at the fairgrounds,
winners cup held high over his head, shouting “BY THE POWER OF NASCAR! I AM THE POWER!” And then an orb of blue energy forming over each of the four entrance stones our city commission wasted a quarter of a million dollars on
and then all four of them simultaneously shooting a lightning bolt that hits the The Clint Bowyer Building, and then BAM, almost everyone in Emporia is unable to drive worth a shit anymore. Yeah, I know what happened, man. Not cool.
See you down the road (if you’re able to still drive, that is),